The Art of Self Honoring: A Guide to Grounded Masculine Presence
Self honoring! A divine principle that I didn’t understand for a very long time.
We talk about self-love and self-care, and they are very important, but we hardly talk about self-honoring. It has become so forgotten that it does not even feel important anymore.
Why?
Because we have forgotten to honor ourselves. Caring is not enough, love is definitely invaluable, but honor and respect cannot be left out if you ever want to be a healthy masculine.
That is why I struggled for years without knowing.
Overgiving. Overdoing. Always being there for other people when I didn’t have my own solid ground. That is self-abandonment, the precise opposite of self-honor.
What is honoring, you say?
Honoring is having a deep respect for your own needs. Your body’s needs, your emotional needs, your spiritual needs.
Have you thought about it? That you have those needs?
Often as we rise in our spirituality, we start taking care of others first because our field opens up. We can feel other people’s emotions and energies, and that sensitivity comes with a lack of grounding. So we over-give.
Why? Because it comes naturally when you are a sensitive person. You want to take care of others.
What about you then? Who is going to take care of you?
Are there people around you who will say, “Man, you need to honor your needs first. I can see that you are not grounded.” Probably not. You have probably never had someone with that level of grounding around you who could ask you to come back home within yourself.
“Every time you do not honor your needs, for whatever reason, you abandon yourself.”
You probably have deep self-worth issues. (I have them too. I am working on them.) You feel that being the first person to hold someone’s hand when they are even slightly dysregulated is your gift, and you believe you would be a selfish and horrible person if you didn’t do that, because you think that is your God-given spiritual gift for the world.
That is what I used to tell myself too, unconsciously, before I realized, “Man, this is exhausting. I hate this.”
Does that make me a selfish person? No. It just means I saw through my self-abandonment.
Yes, self-abandonment. Every time you don’t honor your needs for whatever reason, you abandon yourself.
But you say, “It’s okay if I abandon myself. I am not that important.”
See, that is self-dishonoring right there. You don’t think you are important. You don’t think you deserve groundedness, health, peace, time, or whatever you need. That is dishonoring the very being that you are, and you still expect to be happy and in peace. That is quite a paradox, isn’t it?
“Oh, I have to treat myself as important. But that will make me a horrible person. Arrogant and boastful. I will feel high and mighty. That is not me. That is not my energy.” Is that what you are saying now?
Well then, my friend, you have people-pleasing tendencies. You are not humble. You simply want other people to think you are a humble person, because in your childhood you saw someone who only cared about themselves, and you decided, “That is the kind of person I never want to be.”
And here you are, someone who is kind, but not kind to yourself. What has it led to?
So what do we do?
“You are honorable. Your needs are honorable. It starts with yourself.”
We heal the core wound that leads to self-abandonment.
You think you are not important.
You hate the word “important,” especially when it shines toward you. So your needs are not important, your space is not important, your desires are not important. Because if they are important, then you will have to honor them, and you cannot do that. What will people think? What if people leave you?
People will leave you. That is the fear. And that fear has led to self-abandonment.
You left yourself.
If you have hit the wall already, you have probably realized it has not served you.
Dishonoring yourself and your needs has not served you at all, and it has not served anyone in the most aligned way.
Nobody is served beautifully when you don’t take care of your needs. It cannot happen.
That is why the very people you over-gave to sometimes end up saying unkind things to you. You feel betrayed, not always because they are bad people, but because you were not doing justice to yourself.
Let’s change that.
Honor your needs.
You are honorable. Your needs are honorable.
It starts with yourself.
See how the world becomes so much more grounded when you find your own solid rock within yourself.
“Nobody is served beautifully when you do not take care of your needs. It cannot happen.”
If this post touched something in you, if you feel the stirrings of wanting to heal the roots of your self-abandonment and step into a more grounded, balanced, healthy masculine energy, I invite you to explore this work with me.
I am opening a few free one-hour discovery sessions for those who feel genuinely called to reconnect with themselves, rebuild inner safety, and learn how to live from their own solid ground again.
This is not a sales call. It is a space where we look gently at your patterns, your wounds, and the next steps your soul is asking for.
If you feel resonance, you can honor that feeling and reach out to me for the session.
Only if it feels true for you.
Click here to book your FREE discovery call with me.
